perhaps you didn't notice
but there is a certain sense
of you getting off on killing me
masturbate while stabbing me
I adore the wings of your exposed ribs
red eagle flying free
lung oxygen on the exterior
and a wonderful interior

vessels pumping emptiness
to valves contracting in despair
leaking mascara
upstream dark streams

deus novus
as god, too, wept and bled
while being torn to shreds
picked apart by crows and vultures
dying on the lowest bed
stockings tighten on the neck

perhaps you didn't understand
devil that chose to play pretend
black eyelashes drapes
innards full of cassette tape

they said
evenings without love, mornings without grievance
humans who have reached their limits

sadistic procedures
we'll make this street a slaughterhouse
so that you can practice
weight loss by slicing off my flesh

arthouse motion pictures
where I shall film my torture porn
close up shots of you eviscerated
gasping for one more breath

is this what you prefer?
traîner une personne à travers l'enfer
so that if caressed by you
I feel like boiling in a brazen bull

it was truly ignorant on my side
that you would make it difficult to write
about frantic violence and murder
expecting I'd be forced to leave all pages clean
singing praise to the only highest feeling
I dread that every piece of art
should be extracted from a wounded heart
for what it's worth...

impaled on rebar
of your concrete foundation
church of reciprocal mutilation
am I a trophy decoration
your leisure casuality
result of insensitive morality

ferociously fierce
wickedly vicious

why not smash out a few
of your perfect teeth
or rather cut my tongue
for saying such a thing
as if we're lined with some thread
of compulsory resentment

aversion
hostility
ill will and sick feeling

why does this antipathy
have to rip off humility
humans are a flawed material
after all

your baseless kindness
an appalling screen for such inner blindness
with a pale, frail hand
you cover your eyes
and hope to slit me with a knife
alors regarde-moi droit dans les yeux
et empale-moi si c'est ce que tu veux

only to discover
that blood and gore is mere juice and wine
cleanse me of my filth
and, for our sake, change the color of the lights
from evil red to gentlest white

I know
my fantasy is made and armed with pain
disturbing richness of detail
that most probably will leave you shocked
but I prefer the vulnerability
of clasped palms with fingers interlocked

spontaneous combustion in paramount heat
shivering and trembling of a trusting body
triangular zenith covered in lipstick
glass ornated by your desperate handprints

reverie is reverie
god says
we should bite at throat mutually
act of compassion for the divine will
search for golden flakes in its shit
faux passion
for ersatz bliss

a minute sacrifice for the worthless love of his
the gift of godless, private kiss
he knows I'm not afraid of Hell
and thus inflicts the deepest cut, instead

ripping it from you
so that you do this to me too

Qui diligit, non novit Deum
for the only attribute of his is vanity
foul quintessence of self-centered insanity
and even at my darkest
I could never match his egoism

those fractured apertures of deranged prism
can, and will drench all in agonal silence
shattering all windows
a wrapping rain of former mirrors
shredding the spring into strips and splinters
that will succumb to howling blaze
so that I know

he hasn't come to judge me
but merely to show
his cruel power above all

suspend in an eternal fall